*Turn and face the strain, ch-ch-changes*
Some things N. said on her blog recently got me thinking about stuff that I know I've been feeling lately. And even though the feelings have been pretty darn strong, they've still been kinda vague. But I was finally able to put it into words today: If you want to change, you've got to start doing things differently. It sounds sooo simple, but it is deceptive.
The normal mode for so many of us (myself included) is: 1) feel discomfort; 2) think that we've accomplished something by realizing that we're uncomfortable; and 3) do something akin to whining and kvetching about it. But nothing changes.
I realized today, or maybe yesterday, I don't know when... that I'm sick of not getting things done. That I waste too much time doing nothing in particular (usually involving the internet). But I also have trouble, in general, doing tasks that seem amorphous or non-finite. I like clear-cut lists of things to do. And the thought is screaming at me now in my head: why don't I ever make to-do lists for myself? Golly, what a fucking genius I am. I've been trying to work in a way which is no good for me, and not getting much done. Well duhh.
So today I made a to-do list, and I'm quite pleased with it. I didn't finish everything on it, because I'm still trying to regather my skills of concentration after this weird period of depression, ADD, scatterbrainedness, what-have-you... But I know I can accomplish everything on there, even if I have to move the items to tomorrow's list, or the day after tomorrow's list. I'll get it done. And that makes it all seem so much easier.
[--end of profundity--]
And speaking of doing things differently, I went back to the gym again today. I feel good. Only now I feel a cold slinking around in my throat and up to my nose. So a "cold prevention" yoga routine seemed in order. Oh, I may start a tradition of a weekly weigh-in of sorts... Unfortunately I gained a pound, up to 154.5. But it's probably not statistically significant. It'd sure be nice to go down a pound a week or so. But not at the rate I'm eating... there's another thing I've gotta start doing differently. But not so sure about the plan of attack on that one yet. I only know that I have to NOT buy Haagen-Dazs and have it in the freezer, because I WILL eat it. Quickly.
The normal mode for so many of us (myself included) is: 1) feel discomfort; 2) think that we've accomplished something by realizing that we're uncomfortable; and 3) do something akin to whining and kvetching about it. But nothing changes.
I realized today, or maybe yesterday, I don't know when... that I'm sick of not getting things done. That I waste too much time doing nothing in particular (usually involving the internet). But I also have trouble, in general, doing tasks that seem amorphous or non-finite. I like clear-cut lists of things to do. And the thought is screaming at me now in my head: why don't I ever make to-do lists for myself? Golly, what a fucking genius I am. I've been trying to work in a way which is no good for me, and not getting much done. Well duhh.
So today I made a to-do list, and I'm quite pleased with it. I didn't finish everything on it, because I'm still trying to regather my skills of concentration after this weird period of depression, ADD, scatterbrainedness, what-have-you... But I know I can accomplish everything on there, even if I have to move the items to tomorrow's list, or the day after tomorrow's list. I'll get it done. And that makes it all seem so much easier.
[--end of profundity--]
And speaking of doing things differently, I went back to the gym again today. I feel good. Only now I feel a cold slinking around in my throat and up to my nose. So a "cold prevention" yoga routine seemed in order. Oh, I may start a tradition of a weekly weigh-in of sorts... Unfortunately I gained a pound, up to 154.5. But it's probably not statistically significant. It'd sure be nice to go down a pound a week or so. But not at the rate I'm eating... there's another thing I've gotta start doing differently. But not so sure about the plan of attack on that one yet. I only know that I have to NOT buy Haagen-Dazs and have it in the freezer, because I WILL eat it. Quickly.
posted by Alison at 12:30 AM
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