15.3.05

When will the stress end?

I keep trying to simplify my life, to cut out distractions, to remove things from my proverbial plate. But it's like somebody keeps throwing them back in at me. I wanted to make a clean break to my research, a quick little summary to finish things up, and what am I stuck with? A major problem, which is itself as clear as mud, and deadlines hurtling toward me at a startling rate. I don't even find it interesting. It's mainly something that I'm doing to get the guilt off of my back, and to not look like a total flake and failure to my professors in the department. Covering my ass, basically.

I just hope I get out of this compromising position soon. I'm coping alright so far, but fearful I'll have another breakdown if things don't let up. (For the uninformed, last time I got overwhelmed, particularly with issues relating to my research, and when relations with my advisor were bad, I spent about two days straight either in tears or fighting them off. I went kinda cuckoo. And that was just the acute, epicenter of the cuckoo-ness. The months surrounding that were nearly as bad.)

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